Part II : My English is necrotizing

Bismillahirrahmanirrahim...

(continued)

And off I went in quest of the counter. I found it. But, the notes I had was about RM3toRM5-less than the ticket price. I went upstairs to withdraw money from the ATM bank. Still in my MRSM uniform, I must be the one with the most troubled look at the ATM queue; among those pilots, air crews and whatnots. The money couldn't be withdrawn, likely because my card was having problems or worse, there was no money left in my account. So, I needed to pretend like I've done my business at the ATM, sat at the nearby seats and wait till those who were queuing behind me went off from the ATM too. I didn't want them to notice that I queued for the 2nd , 3rd ... times since it would be obvious that I was in trouble. I tried many times, in case the card would be OK back in any of the attempts. In between of the queuing(s), I went to call ummi to update about my not-well-beings, in hope of getting any help. But, ummi didn't pick up the phone, the line was busy etc. I was too desensitized to emotionally respond to anything.

Even worse, in the middle of my ATM-public phone sequences, I had misplaced my bag somewhere near the escalator. It was quite heavy and I was not in the mood to lug my bag along, especially when I had many other bigger heavier things to lug in my mind. After a  few times of going ups and downs almost every accessible escalator, I finally noticed where it was. I've been looking for it there many times, but I failed to notice it. I was too desensitized to emotionally respond to anything.

I had given up and just headed to the counter. I ordered the ticket, placed all my notes and shoved down all the coins from the coins compartment of my beg duit, praying it would be enough. From my lousy quick calculation, it was exactly enough. Alhamdulillah.. The cashier gave me the ticket without even care to check either I had given enough amount of money.

All happens in one afternoon of the very same day. I felt in-action almost like Robert Langdon in Angels and Demons, only that I worked with signboards (ATM, counter, public phone, 1st floor etc) not raw symbols.

Above all, I learn when there's nothing we can depend on but Allah and you let Him solve it for us, everything is beautiful. When we depend on Him, nothing harm or heal us but Him. Every trial I had (no money, misplaced bags, ummi not picking up the phone, feeling malu to go to ATM many times among those pilots etc) was viewed with anticipation. It was a mystery to wait of how Allah would help me overcome this trial before He gave me the other trial. It was an adventure to enjoy every single moment of uncertainty, yet an infinite tranqulity.

After the emotional turbulence on that very morning, Allah entertained me with such tranquility, such calmness, such beauty. And, by the time I was at abi's bedside, I was emotionally uplifted. Even abi and the others weren't expecting me to be all bouncy, especially when my brother (the first son-cum-the second child) shed tears when he saw my dad.

Wallahualam...

Part I : My English is necrotizing

Bismillahirrahmanirrahim..

That morning, ummi told me not to panic, and broke the news. But it sounded more like she was advising her own self rather than me. Ummi assured me that abi was already in stable state after a couple of days in critical state. But it sounded more like she was assuring her own self rather than me.

I was dumbfounded. It was very unbelievable that I thought I was dreaming a nightmare. Yet, it was terrifying because despite its unbelievabli-ty, abi had been hit by a lorry on his blue-Honda-motor-kapcai ride to his workplace near the Templer Park. I cried and laughed uncontrollably on my way to the morning call.

The fish is rotten from its head

I tried to focus in class. But, when none of your family member had ever been hospitalized except for appendix, hernia, burnt and giving birth(s), a broken leg + a 'terseliuh' leg + a broken arm + a 'terseliuh' arm + major surgical procedures + few days of unconsciousness was indeed a BIG deal. The teacher seemed to notice but he was interested more in his redox reactions that the class went on just like any other day, except for the fact that I was sitting at the very back of the lab, wetting my chemistry notes with my tears.

I went to the principal room. He said my mom had just phoned, and she said it was okay if I don't go home. He was a principal while my mom is a mere housewife with 8 kids, plus she can't drive and used to have darah gemuruh to speak in front of her class, during her school days! Of course the principal dominated the conversation, that my mom need to surrender to his inhumane logics and reasoning!

Despite the inhumane sphere of the school, there were still persons left with humanity. And alhamdulillah, of all people, a warden of the boys' hostel managed to get me an emergency leave and an Air Asia ticket flight back to KLIA. I packed ASAP, and in the mid of the hurry, Yah gave me an advice that still echoes until today - Be a good anak sulung. To cut it short, by the time I was in Langkawi Airport, I was mentally exhausted due to the intense crying and fighting my rights to get back to abi ASAP.

When it was time the sad woman be happy, she find no place

From the window of the back seat, I stared at the blue sad sky. And that melancholy ambience was abruptly disrupted by an amplified happy voice. "Welcome on-board. You're lucky to have... bla.. bla.. bla...". It was the male steward. They were doing this game that offered the passengers gifts from Air Asia. Of all flight I've ever been on board, that was the only time such hospitality has ever been served. And it was a bad timing. And, even worse, one of the winner was a teacher from my very school. And, he smiled at me while lifting the prize on his way back to his seat after the informal mini prize-giving ceremony.

The hand of God

Alhamdulillah. I safely land on the KLIA. I called my mom on the public phone. Ummi told that nobody was there to pick me up. Everybody was at the hospital. I had to get there on my own. I was a dependent child of abi, that he would send or fetch me up almost everytime. If I have to travel alone on public transport, he would accompany me the first few times to familiarize me with the routes, the bus number, the bus stop etc. But not this time.

My mom gave the directions as briefly as possible - Go to the bottom floor, find the coach counter and buy ticket to Jalan Duta. Cikzul'll wait you there.

(to be continued)

Cry if you see Kavkaz

Bismillahirrahmanirrahim..

1. sepengatahuan-ku, Caucasian bererti orang putih, mat salleh dan yang semakna dengannya

2. latar tempat : tandas perempuan tingkat underground bangunan anat, metro okhotny ryad

• di pintu kubikel jamban, ada terconteng КАВКАЗ (pron = kavkaz, meaning = Caucas), juga terconteng perkataan Azerbaijan, Armenia, Checnya dan Georgia dalam tulisan Rusia
• di samping terbau bau busuk tipikal jamban Rusia, dapt ku bau isu perkauman di situ

3. latar tempat : masih di bangunan sama, department mikrobiologi

•  ketika sedang menduduki colloq mikrobiologi tentang enteral bacteria, berlaku kekecohan di luar kelas
•  ibu guru lalu melaporkan kpd kami semua bahawa berlaku kecurian, ada 3 orang Kavkaz, dari Georgia curi fon di kelas sebelah
• ibu guru berkata lagi - cry (jerit) if you see the Kavkaz. i'll come to help

4. berita bertarikh Isnin, 12 Sept 2009 di eramuslim juga menyebut tentang Caucasus dengan bertajuk "Zionis : Perang Melawan Kebangkitan Khilafah Islamiah Dimulai di Kaukasus"

• antara petikan berita itu berbunyi:

Pendapat Zionis, Kaukasus Utara adalah "salah satu front pusat dan berkembang biak bagi Jihad global yang ditujukan untuk penciptaan kekhalifahan Islam" berikutnya.

• juga turut termuat, peta wilayah Kaukasus

*****

Lantaran itu, aku cuba memecahkan misteri Kaukasus ini. Berikut merupakan rumusan hasil pencarianku:

• Bangsa 'Caucasian' secara general merujuk kepada variasi bangsa berkulit putih.
• Manakala wilayah Kaukasus (Caucasus region) merujuk kepada wilayah antara Asia dan Eropah yang merangkumi Kaukasus Utara (sebahagian negeri di selatan Rusia spt Daghestan & Chechnya) dan Kaukasus Selatan (Armenia, Azerbaijan, Georgia). 
• Wilayah Kaukasus juga merupakan kawasan di mana letaknya Banjaran Kaukasus (Caucasus Mountains) yang merentangi antara Black Sea dan Caspian Sea (sila rujuk peta di atas).
• Mereka yang tinggal di wilayah ini terdiri daripada BERMACAM-MACAM etnik yang mempunyai BERMACAM-MACAM bahasa. Antara etnik yang ada ialah bangsa Kurds, bangsa yang pernah melahirkan hero Islam terkemuka - Salahudin al-Ayubi. Juga, ramai antara mereka merupakan ORANG KITA - Muslim.
• Harus diingat, selepas dilanda bencana kejatuhan Khilafah Islamiyah di Turki, kawasan yang didiami Muslim telah ditimpa bencana lagi - iaitu menjadi target operasi divide et impera (divide and rule atau divide and conquer) musuh-musuh Islam. Kaukasus dijajah oleh Soviet ketika itu.
• Pada masa pemerintahan Soviet, wujud satu badan kerajaan bernama Bezbozhniki (bez: tanpa bog:tuhan) yang kerjanya menghapus sebarang bentuk pengabdian kepada Tuhan. Bayangkan opresi yang dialami Umat Islam ketika itu. 
• Selepas operasi Anti-tuhan, wilayah Kaukasus terus-menerus diuji Tuhan dengan penularan ideologi sekularisme. Maka tidak hairan, jika kita melihat di sekeliling kita orang Azerbaijan yang macam ye macam tak Islam nya itu. Mangsa keadaan... ;(

"Islam adalah menyeluruh, mencakup semua bidang hidup; Islam adalah negara dan watan....."

(usul pertama dari Usul 20 by Hassan al-Banna)

Dan watan itu adalah mana-mana bumi yang didiami oleh ORANG KITA - Muslim.

Maka, benarlah kata ibu guru mikrob - cry (nangis) if you see Kavkaz. Ada antara mereka orang kita dan mereka sering diopres, tapi kita haram tak endah tentang mereka.

Wallahualam...